Should we do a first look or not?

Hi friend! 

I’m so glad you are here to look at some different options for how to go about the first time you SEE THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE ON YOUR WEDDING DAY! This is a topic that I get asked about A LOT when couples are planning their big day. Of course the traditional way of doing things holds that the groom does not see his bride at all on their wedding day until the moment she walks down the aisle to marry him and plenty of couples choose to keep that tradition and opt out of doing  first look. However in recent years it’s become very common - maybe just as common - to do any number of non-traditional things on a wedding day including an intimate (or not so intimate) first look in which the bride and groom share that first glimpse of each other before the ceremony and without the entire crowd there to watch. 

First I would like to say there is no right or wrong way to do this! In my extensive time covering weddings I have seen it all and all of it works! I have had some couples even get ready together on their wedding day and drive to the ceremony together. This makes for a more relaxed and less stressful event for most of the couples that choose to do that. But for those who still wish to have that grand reveal whether it’s at the ceremony or before, I’ve put together some helpful info to take into consideration when deciding which way to go. 

Benefits of waiting until the ceremony to see each other:

Tradition

Of course the number one pro for waiting until the bride walks down the aisle to see each other is it’s considered the traditional way to run a wedding. This is the way many of our parents and grandparents did it and the way you see it most frequently in movies for a reason - until recent times it’s the only way it was done! For couples wishing to keep to a traditional wedding in every aspect they’ll want to stay completely separate on the wedding day, especially after the bride is in her dress, and have that first sight of each other be during the actual moments on the aisle. 

Emotion

Another pro to this is the anticipation that builds in waiting to see each other can add a sort of emotional intensity to this big day! You spend all year picking out just the right dress, suit, hairstyle, jewelry, shoes, flowers, and every small and large detail you can think of, waiting until the actual moment of the ceremony can really add to the emotion.

Time

Another plus when you wait until later in the day to see each other is you have more time to get ready beforehand! Since many photographers (myself included) don’t do a ton of photos before the ceremony begins if you aren’t doing a first look then that allows you to really focus on a relaxed experience getting yourself and any last minute details ready for your big reveal. It also allows those last moments of hanging with just your girls/guys before you are married! 

Benefits of doing a first look:

 Focus on the guests/Shortening or eliminating cocktail hour

Of course there are many pros of doing a first look instead of waiting until the ceremony to see each other, the first one being that you are then able to do nearly all (or even ALL) of your wedding photos before guests arrive and the ceremony starts. This allows you to focus on your friends and family and the big celebration immediately instead of being taken off for photos for an hour or so. After all my years in the industry I would say this is the number one reason that couples choose to do a first look. Traditionally a wedding day timeline would involve your ceremony, about 45 minutes to an hour of family, bridal party, and couple’s photos while your guests mingle at a cocktail hour and then a grand entrance into the rest of the reception. With a first look you are able to do all or almost all of the photos before any guests even arrive and go straight from your ceremony to your reception. There are several sub reasons that this can be beneficial as well - it allows you to save money and decisions on a cocktail  hour since you can go straight into your reception. Eliminating the cocktail hour cuts down on the amount of alcohol your guests are consuming before the meal is served (really helpful if you have a drinking crowd!) and you don’t feel that your entire wedding day is consumed with other activities that keep you away from all of the people you invited to celebrate with. Some people do a first look and then still have a cocktail hour before their reception but that is not quite as common unless it is a shortened version and there is again no right or wrong way to do that either. 

More time with your best friend!

Aside from efficiency there is also a very practical reason that some people choose to do a first look - so they can see each other as soon as possible! When you are putting on such an important event it can be beneficial to spend as much of the day as possible with the person you are actually marrying. And for many they find that the wedding day nerves they experience are immediately eased when they see and get to physically hold the love of their life. I’ve seen many, many instances where the bride or groom or both were SO nervous that they weren’t truly enjoying the day but the moment they saw each other all that tension eased and they were feeling like themselves again. This is a very powerful reason to choose a first look! 

Privacy

Another reason I have seen that a first look can be beneficial is that in the case of someone that tends to be incredibly emotional (i.e. cries a lot) a first look gives you the chance to get that intense emotion out without being seen by your entire crowd. It also gives you time to dry those tears, clean up, fix makeup, and catch your breath before you are in front of all the guests. While it’s not incredibly common I have seen grooms believe it or not completely lose it at the first look sobbing uncontrollably and they were thankful to have that moment privately. It’s also probably important to note that I have seen several first looks done and then the couple still cries and gets emotional at their ceremony when the bride walks down the aisle anyway because - there’s just something about that music playing and the long walk down the aisle that really gets the emotions going even if you already did a private first look. 

Timing

Another common reason that people choose to do a first look comes down to straight up logistics. Especially if you are doing a fall or winter wedding later in the day but you want daylight for your photos - sometimes you have no choice but to do a first look and all of the photos beforehand so you can utilize all the daylight possible before the sun sets. I have had several sunset ceremonies where the couple did all their photos beforehand so they weren’t being rushed but still got the bright and airy wedding photos they wanted. I have also had some couples do sunset or evening ceremonies and choose to do all the photos after with artificial lighting which is a great option too if you make sure to get a photographer that is familiar with that! Either way taking the time of day into consideration can be largely helpful in deciding whether to do a first look or wait until the ceremony to see each other. 

Options

Finally there are many creative ways to do a first look together which can be fun options to explore! One of my favorites was when my bride and groom were placed back to back holding hand and read each other their vows privately where only they could hear. They then turned around and got their reveal and some quiet moments together to really focus on the meaning behind their day. 

Okay, if you’ve stuck with me this far I know it can be a lot of info to take in! I’ve found most couples when looking through this list feel pretty strongly one way or another about which pros mean the most to them and that makes the decision much easier to make. Just remember, whichever you choose there is no right or wrong and I’ve never had a couple after their wedding tell me they regretted choosing one over the other. So pick the one that feels best to you and everything else will follow. 

For more detailed ideas on how to make your wedding day the best day ever and avoid any hassles or headaches, check out the Ultimate DIY Wedding Course!